I remember when I was going on a lot of first dates. (And I mean, A LOT) I heard the advice “fake it till you make it,” and I thought it made sense. I wasn't feeling confident, so I just faked it.
I tried really hard to impress my date with my funniest stories and I hid the stuff that I thought was too messy. And I was rarely attracted to the other person, or I didn't get asked out on a second date. Because they never got to know the real me.
Faking it means you try to look like everyone else. You try to fit in. And fitting in doesn't get results. Because if your date wanted everyone else they would be out with THEM.
They are out with YOU. Because they are curious about YOU. If you’re like everyone else, you’re going to get lumped in with everyone else and you will get passed over.
We are dating to find the diamond in the rough. The one person that feels like a fit for us. But that works both ways. You are the diamond in the rough for someone else, but they can't find you if you are acting like the rest of the rough. BE THE DIAMOND.
I get it, sometimes it is hard to stand out. It's hard to shine bright like a diamond if you're not feeling great or confident in who you are. That lack of confidence is what leads us to fake it in the first place.
You are already enough to be the secret sauce to attract the right person to you. You don't have to do anything different than show up in a way that feels like you're being yourself. That confidence is a magic magnet for the right people to come to you.
Instead of faking it, here is how to stand in your power, get in touch with who you really are and be confident enough to be YOU:
If you're feeling bad about yourself: Brain dump everything (especially the negative thoughts and feelings) in your brain onto a piece of paper. Burn the paper and release it.
If you want to feel loved: Look yourself in the mirror and say “I love and accept you.”
If you need an energy boost: Move your body in whatever way feels good- dance, walk, run, punch. Feel gratitude that you’re moving and breathing.
If you need a self-esteem boost: Ask a good friend or loved one what they like about you and what makes you unique. Do you agree? If so, repeat this to yourself. “I am someone who…” and fill in the blank with what your friend said.
If you're asking "How do I figure out who I am?": Notice what activities, location, and people bring out your best. When do you feel ALIVE? Do that more.
If you want to feel really good about yourself: What are 5 things you like about yourself? What is 1 thing you did recently that you are proud of or want to celebrate? Write them down and read them out loud!
If you want to have a good day: Listen to some pumping up music. Like some classic Madonna. Or maybe watch Beyonce’s Homecoming documentary on Netflix. What’s your favorite song to lift your mood?
If you want to tap into your inner power: Power pose. The science behind might be iffy, but it actually does help boost my mood.
You're pretty great.
Do you have someone that needs a confidence boost? Please share this post and share the love. Maybe include a note with a few things that you really like about them.