I don’t know about you, but my holiday weekend calendar is FULL of invites to parties, backyard barbecues and gatherings. And what better time to meet someone new?!
I struggle with this sometimes because I’m an introvert and talking to new people causes some anxiety for me. But I’ve learned some great tips to get out there and get social. And if you need to be centered before you jump into socializing, get my free self love meditation right here.
Here are my five best tips to increase the likelihood of you meeting someone new.
1. Say yes to invites.
You will never meet someone at a party if you don’t attend.
I struggle with this myself sometimes because I am quite an introvert and often prefer being at home instead of being out with a bunch of strangers.
But nothing happens at home. No one is magically appearing on the couch next to me or randomly knocking on my door. If you want to meet someone, you have to go where people are.
If you’re like me and find that the hardest part is just getting out of the house, set yourself a small goal and a time limit. Say you will attend the party for just an hour and you are allowed leave after that. Often I find if I give myself permission to leave, I feel free to stay longer and enjoy myself. And if it’s not enjoyable, I just go.
2. Take the pressure off.
Something I keep hearing over and over is that people expect to know if a person is right for them in the first conversation. Let me clear this up: It is impossible to know that. There is very little certainty after one conversation.
So if you do meet someone and you start talking, slow down. Take the focus off of “is this the one?” or “does this person like me?” Maybe turn that focus back to yourself. Better questions to ask are “Do I like how I feel when I’m around this person?” and “Am I curious to know more?”
Not everyone you meet is a potential partner. Why not enjoy the interaction for simply what it is- meeting someone new. There are lots of joys in meeting someone new. You get to see new perspectives and hear about someone else’s life and experiences. Enjoy the person for who they are.
3. Be curious.
When we show someone that we like who they are, that person is more likely to like you in return. That is actual brain science, and how cool is that!
When you meet someone new, make it your job to be curious about who they are and discover ways that you can like this person. What are all the things you could like about him or her? What makes them unique? What makes their eyes light up? This keeps conversation interesting and exciting because you have a goal (find what you like about them) and the other person gets to talk about what they are most interested in.
If you’re worried that you will never get to talk about yourself, don’t fret! I find that conversation with fun and interesting people tends to feel like a ping pong. One person offers something, and then the other person offers something. It flows with a bit of a zip. It’s ok if it’s not there (not everyone is going to be a fit for you, remember?) It’s all just investigation and collecting information.
4. Have something to say.
It is easier to have conversation if you have something interesting to contribute. I like to have a few things in mind that seem to be great conversation starters, and most people have something to say on these topics. Let me share with you my arsenal of conversation starters.
“What passion project do you have in your life right now?”
“What’s something you’re excited about?”
“Have you read any good books lately/seen any good movies or tv?”
“Any travel plans coming up?”
“What’s good in your life right now?”
These questions are topics that are pretty broad and can usually start an interesting conversation. It gives you the opportunity to listen for things that make someone light up and find out what they are really interested in. And, bonus, you will probably get to answer these questions when the person asks “what about you?” So make sure you have something to say!
5. Be bold.
Danielle LaPorte says, “Love rewards the brave.” It’s ok to approach someone and say hi. It’s ok to enter into a group of people that are talking and introduce yourself.
Approach all kinds of people, not just the ones you think are attractive. Not only does this help keep the pressure off but you get to practice having conversations and playing the role of investigator. You also never know who knows someone that they could introduce to you! It’s ok to be bold, to say hello. In fact, I dare you.
This weekend, I challenge you to have a conversation with one new person each day. Even if it’s in line at the grocery store when you’re picking up hamburger buns. Now, get out there and have some fun!!
Did you find this blog post helpful? Do you want to increase the love in your life? It all starts with yourself, which is why I created a simple self love meditation. Claim yours here and get more love immediately.