The answer is simple, but it isn't always easy (which is why it's so juicy for me to talk about!)
You must let go and trust that what you want is on its way to you.
I am still getting comfortable with trust. I learn it in layers. When I was single, going on lots of first dates and impatiently wanting to meet a guy I could fall in love with, here is how I started to lean into trusting.
I struggled to trust when every date was obviously wrong for me. I met great guys, but there was always something missing. Lots of first dates, very few second dates. Lots of going out and meeting people, but no one that really sparked my interest. I got frustrated by my current circumstance – single, trying really hard to meet someone.
I had to make a conscious shift.
By conscious, I purposely want to emphasize that I was aware of making a new choice. It was not something that I could do passively or once in awhile.
I didn't have the result that I wanted. YET. I could lean into "yet" and give more focus to the future. I had to design what that future was going to look like. I couldn't give any more emphasis on what was dissatsifying to me at that moment, so I shifted to paint a clear picture of what I was moving towards in the future.
Do you believe the sun will come up tomorrow? Most people I know will say yes. They have an idea of what that will be and they trust that it will happen, even though it hasn't happened yet.
We must trust our future in a similiar way. We must know what that will look like and know that it is coming.
I consciously chose my future and began to believe in it 100%. The future I wanted was a happy relationship with a loving partner. And I decided that it was going to happen for me, just as sure as the sun is going to come up tomorrow.
I believed with equal conviction that I was going to be in happy partnership. I couldn’t control when or with whom, but I believed it was going to happen.
When I aligned with that belief, I was able to take the pressure off myself and off the people I went out with. My focus could shift to being really present. I didn’t have to worry, because I was already certain it was going to happen.
It’s not always easy to believe in something you don’t see. Yet. But what if you don’t see it because you don’t believe it?
There are certain things you can control with dating, such as:
Are you out there meeting and talking to lots of people?
Do you love who you are and love your life?
Are you putting your best foot forward?
Are you having fun?
Are you clear on what you want and what you absolutely do not want?
And then there are certain things you can’t control:
How and where you’re going to meet someone that is a match for you
How long the relationship will last
What the person will look like, act like, and choose to do in his/her life
We control what we can. We let go of the things we can’t control.
When we trust that what we want is on its way to us, we begin to open up. We relax.
Only after we open up, relax and surrender the things that can’t be controlled, you will begin to feel like the process is easier and much more enjoyable.
You have to believe it will happen before it happens. Just like you believe the sun is going to come up tomorrow. The clearer picture you can paint about what your future will look like, the more real and more certain it will feel. And you can let go in the present because you have a clear path ahead of you to move you towards what you want.
Keep your focus on what you can control.
This is where I spend a lot of time helping my clients. And it’s exactly why I recorded my best tips into audio lessons! As a thank you for being on my list, I want to gift you with one audio track for free. I want to give you a preview of what I’ve been working on behind the scenes and I want to help you start getting focused on what you want.
Do you want clarity about what your future will be? Do you struggle to commit to your vision and focus on what’s possible instead of the disappointing day to day? Let’s talk. I’m looking to work with 5 women to help them get clear about what they want and create a plan of action to get it. Could it be you? Let’s talk on a free Discovery Call to find out if you’re a fit.
Did you find this blog post helpful? Do you want to increase the love in your life? It all starts with yourself, which is why I created a simple self love meditation. Claim yours here and get more love immediately.