I am SO not perfect (and that's ok)

My goal in writing this series about change to help you become more resilient and graceful through change while giving you permission to discover your best self.  I know I want to live a life that excites me, and if I can help you to do the same then I feel like I've done a good job.

I'm looking at change. What does change do to us as individuals? How do we navigate it? How do we make it work and bust through so we become stronger? 

I agree with Martha Beck's teachings that change goes through phases. Much like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, there are steps and similar parts of the process for each individual, even though it will never be exactly the same. I wrote about Phases One and Two already, and you can go here to get a refresher if you'd like. 

I really don't like Phase Three. I am impatient and I want results now.  I don't mind hard work, but I want to know that it's going to pay off! And I don't want to wait or have too many challenges. A few challenges are ok, but not too many. 

I'm not a great judge about how much I can handle. When I am working out without a trainer, I back off early because I'm afraid of getting hurt. When I'm pursuing a new career, I quit when it gets tough because I think that maybe I'm "not cut out for this."

Martha Beck taught us that Phase Three has a slogan: "This is harder than I thought it would be, and that's ok." There is something really freeing about telling it like it is. First, this is freakin' hard. And second, that's ok. It's really ok for something to be hard.

Earlier this year, I created an entire business plan. I thought I was going to launch online programs and teach people around the world. I hired a coach. I bought software. I paid for advertising. I worked my butt off to write copy, design a course, film it and create useful free resources that would help people wherever they were in their journey. It was a lot of work. 

Work doesn't scare me. Spending money doesn't even scare me if I've done my homework. I was so sure I was making investments in myself and my business to get me to the next step. 

Let's just say my business plan isn't going according to plan this year. I was trying to leap way down the road and skip a bunch of steps. I was leaping way down the road. I simply wasn't ready for that and I fell on my face.

This time I know that this phase is hard and it's ok. I know that hard is part of the course, so I can stick it out. It's not failure ,it's feedback. I looked at why that didn't work this time. What can I learn? What can I do better? 

Failure isn't a problem. It's just information. It's not easy, let me be clear. I don't like that I invested all that money into something that didn't sell (yet). I spent money that I probably didn't need to, and won't need to until my business grows a bit more. But when I get there, at least I will have the software and knowledge that I need. Plus the confidence of having done a course once already. 

Where in your life are you struggling? Where is it hard? Or where are you so afraid of failure that you aren't even trying? 

Don't let "hard" or "failure" scare you. Don't let it stop you from trying something. You have people around you that will help you stand back up. You are stronger than you think. You just need to stand back up and take another step.

Sometimes I need someone to push me a little past my comfort zone and discover just how strong I really am. And I'm going to push you a little. Go a little bit further. Get up from a knockdown one more time. Push. I know it's hard, but push through. You're going to be ok. 

Let's do this.


Did you find this blog post helpful? Do you want to increase the love in your life? It all starts with yourself, which is why I created a simple self love meditation. Claim yours here and get more love immediately.