Two weeks ago I wrote about shifting away from focusing on what you don’t want. If you missed it and you’re feeling stuck in your dating life, this is a great place to start.
Here is where we left off. I want you to answer the question
What do you want?
Answer honestly from your gut. What do you want most in this world? What is really important to you? What do you want to Have, Be, or Do? Don’t filter yourself. Claim it. It is a beautiful thing to know what you want.
But there is something holding you back. The thing that is holding you back is all the bullshit.
I can already hear what is racing through your mind.
“Yeah, but, Sarah, my situation is different. Something really is wrong with me.”
“Yeah, but I always pick the wrong person and all the good ones are taken.”
“Yeah, but I’m divorced and a failure at relationships.”
“Yeah, but what I want isn’t actually possible.”
All those “yeah buts” arebullshit. And they are standing in the way of you getting what you want.
I’m taking a stand as a coach who holds a higher vision of what is possible for me and for you. So from a place of love, I’m taking a stand here and now:
I will no longer tolerate “yeah but’s” or other bullshit. From now on I’m going to call that out. I’m no longer available for excuses. There is a difference between being in a place of fertile waiting and avoiding, delaying and being afraid of action. And I will no longer tolerate pretending that you “don’t know” when you really do know.
Most people aren’t talking about what they want. They’re talking about how hard it is and how bad the dates are. I get it. It’s easier to do that because then you don’t have to take any ownership of the situation. The problem is everyone else, not you.
You are selling yourself short because you’re afraid. You’re afraid to say what you really want because you’re afraid you won’t get it. I get it, I feel afraid sometimes, too. But that fear is no longer a good enough reason for me to not go after what I want.
When you have a desire, you already have everything you need to make it yours. (Insider Secret: THIS is why I spend so much of my time coaching around helping you get clarity!!! Because when you know what you want, you can start going after it!!)
The desire is put in your heart because it’s important to you AND because it is attainable. You would not have that desire if it was not possible. “Doing the work” is referring to this process of naming your desires, going after it, then clarifying it and going after the new desire. “Doing the work” is NOT settling for bullshit, excuses and changing your desires to a lower bar.
Your life is meant to be so much greater than what you are tolerating. You’re not meant to have desires but never have the thing you desire. The pursuit of the desire is part of fully living and expressing your life.
After you know the answer to "What do I want?" the follow up question to quiet the bullshit is "Why do I want it?"
When you know the WHY and when it really matters to you, the bullshit falls away. Make the WHY so big that it's bigger than your fear, your excuses, your Yeah But. (<--- that right there is the good stuff!!!! Quote it, post it, share it!)
Write it down for yourself. Grab a clean piece of paper and write the vision of what you want. And then tell yourself why you want it.
And it's ok if your reason is "Because I'm worth it." ;)
Lots of love to you,
PS. If what you want is to fall in love and find your lifelong partnership, I have just the thing for you! I'm teaching a free class starting TONIGHT and you can sign up right here.Eliminate Your Love Blocks is for the woman who is relationship ready and wants to call big love into her life.
PPS. If that's not your thing, here's a funny video of a dancing otter.