I was talking with a coaching client the other night and he made a connection that I wanted to share. He noticed he was avoiding taking risks because it was a way that he could control the outcome. And by controlling the outcome, he was getting more of what he didn’t want and never allowing what he did want to come into his life.
It was such a brilliant insight that I wanted to jump up and down. First we identify what we really want. Then we come to terms with letting go of what is holding us back. After we let go of what’s not working, we can truly see how we were being held back.
This time of year is all about reflection and looking ahead. My plan for ending the year will include some reflection of lessons learned over the year and celebrations of accomplishments. And to prepare for the new year, I plan to clarify what I want and what I’m willing to let go of.
The queen of clearing clutter Marie Kondo teaches to let go of anything that does not “spark joy.” In my experience working with clients, I’ve seen so many people that don’t find it to be that I think the reason why this became such a trend is because the advice is simple AND joy is something most of us want to be feeling in our lives. And surrounding yourself with items that make you feel that way is one way to feel joyful more of the time! Letting go of things that do not make us feel the way we want to feel just seems like a clean way to move forward.
Let me ask you this: In the new year how do you want to feel?
Joyful? Free? Powerful? Abundant? Peaceful?
Pick a couple of words that most describe how you want to feel. Imagine yourself feeling that way right now. What do you notice about yourself? Does your breathing change? What about your physical energy level? Check in with your posture and notice if there are any adjustments. Pay attention to these sensations in your body, and make note so you can remember it.
Notice where in your life are you already feeling the way you want to feel. I have a friend who has a policy to do one thing every day that makes her feel beautiful. It might be wearing lipstick or nice earrings, or other days it’s wearing a really soft sweater. By giving herself this gift of beauty each day, she said she started to feel it ripple outwards to other parts of her life. She would see herself in the mirror and smile. She would notice more moments of beauty in her life. It sounds so simple.
How often do you step into those feelings that you want? I’m going to guess not as often as you’d like. It’s easy to get swept up into the daily bustle and forget about those feelings. Instead we must seek and create moments to feel how we want to feel, and only after that intentional moment will we start to find other opportunities.
And now, it’s time to let go. It’s time to shed the old skin of all the old habits that aren’t serving you. You know how you want to feel, and you’re not feeling it right now. What is standing in your way?
For my friend that wants to feel beautiful, letting go might mean throwing out items that are broken, worn out, or just no longer beautiful. And just like Marie Kondo says, each item may have a lesson for you. If it’s something you love but it’s no longer beautiful, is there something you can do to restore its beauty? If not, perhaps it’s a lesson to take better care of the items you cherish. You learned a lesson, so thank the item for serving that purpose and then let it go.
If you were being intentional about only having beautiful things in your bedroom but never got rid of anything, you would end up with piles of crap. Imagine bringing in new beautiful items and placing them around what’s already there. The space would get overcrowded. It wouldn’t feel beautiful anymore. We must create space in order to bring in the new.
I encourage you to let it go. Imagine how you want to feel on the other side, and keep that in the forefront of your mind. Let it steer you. And as you let go of each item, you can thank it for being useful. You can thank the ex boyfriends for teaching you lessons and then let them all go. You can thank the clothes that no longer fit you for covering your body for a while and then get rid of them. The old habits, the old ways of thinking and old stories that you once believe. Clear it out, make space for something new.
My wish for you for the end of the year and the start of 2019 is simple:
I wish you clarity. I wish you peace and joy. I wish you space to create exactly what you want.
I will be taking off from writing for the remainder of the year. I need to give myself some space and some rest. I am excited for the new year and for the fresh start that comes when the clock strikes midnight on December 31. Can you feel it?
Wishing you all the best and lots of love.
Did you find this blog post helpful? Do you want to increase the love in your life? It all starts with yourself, which is why I created a simple self love meditation. Claim yours here and get more love immediately.