I was the queen of the first date. For most of my twenties, I was great at getting a guy to ask me out for the first date, but I never understood why there wasn’t a second.
I’d go out. Engage in witty banter. I would wear my best outfit. We’d talk about work and our friends and families and what we were passionate about. Usually, there was a goodnight kiss. (And I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a great kisser. I am 100% confident in my kissing abilities.)
When he didn’t ask me out for the next date, I felt distraught. I tried so hard to be the person he wanted me to be. I tried to be what I thought he was looking for: the perfect blend of sexy, independent, cute, funny, smart, accomplished, and nurturing.
I couldn’t figure it out.
All these years later, it’s clear to me what I was doing wrong. I made the same mistake a lot of people make on a date by staying on the surface level of connection. We talked about what we had in common, not about the topics that would actually make a difference. In this week’s video, I talk about how to take that surface level connection and turn it into something that will go deeper and will foster a better connection. It will also help you evaluate if you like the person across from you, and if your values line up.
Check out the video here.
I felt really frustrated when I was trying to figure out why all my dates seemed to fail and never get a relationship off the ground. It reminds me of when my iPhone wouldn’t turn on, so I panicked and took my iPhone to the Genius Bar. I was freaking out. And my Genius was so calm, she methodically went through a checklist of options to fix my phone. I commented “You’re lucky to work here. I bet when this happens to you, you’re cool as a cucumber because you know it can be fixed.” And she said something very wise to me:
“No, I’m a mess! When it’s your problem, you can’t see the answer.”
It is always going to be easier for a person outside of the situation to be able to breathe, take a look around, and see the possibilities for solutions. We can cultivate this, and that’s why I teach. Because I want to empower women to be their own best guide, and so that they have somewhere to turn when they need someone on the outside to help.
I’m going to be offering a free webinar about recognizing and solving one of the biggest dating problems: Why is it so hard to get a guy? In this webinar, I dissect the problem that many women are having with dating right now- there are so many options, but the quality seems to be lacking.
And I’m not going to show you a problem without giving you an answer, of course! I will then help women see what they can do to answer the question and actually start finding great guys.
If you’re a single woman who is dating and wants to understand this better, I hope you will join me on Wednesday March 14 at 1pm EST for my free webinar called Why It’s Hard to Get a Guy (And What You Can Do About It). You can register by clicking here.
Even if you can’t be there live, only people that are registered will receive the recorded playback.
I’m already jumping out of my seat with all the juicy information I will be delivering to you. I just can’t wait!