Don't Find Your Passion

Passion is the new dirty word in the self help world.


For most of my life I have been seeking and pursuing my passion. I have read countless books and watched online classes and videos about how to find your passion and how make a living with it. There are people that have made their entire careers teaching people how to do exactly that.


I no longer believe in finding and pursuing my passion.


This is not because of failure. Many of you have watched me as I tried my hand at Arbonne, personal training, and theater all pursuing my dream and my passion. Each time I pivoted, I thought that this new thing was IT. Only in hindsight did I see that it is all really the same dream in different clothing.


And there is nothing wrong with trying on different items of clothing.


I heard a term a year ago and it described the new wave of entrepreneurs as “multi-passionate.” Instead of pursuing one passion, they were ok with having several passions, and the passions are not necessarily the end-all-be-all.


What I have learned about passion is that it can be fleeting. By nature, passion is meant to excite your cells, get you all fired up. From an evolutionary stand point, that passion you feel early in a relationship is meant to make the population procreate. That passion naturally fades over time so that the children can be raised


And if you get really honest, how often have you waited for passion to come along to motivate you to go for that run, eat healthy, or make a job change? Do you sit around waiting for passion to come up and grab you and stir up butterflies in your stomach? And if it does, do you trust it enough to act?


Passion is not meant to be inspirational. Passion doesn’t simply just come along. When we limit our thinking to finding that “one” passion that everyone says is out there for us, we inevitably get demotivated. Our thinking becomes tunneled. We keep seeking for just the “one” thing that is OUR passion.


It’s tricky semantics, the way our thinking plays tricks on us.


We each have one passion that is unique to us. We search for the one thing, and we get possessive. And then if we find anyone else doing the same thing that we think is ours, we despair and compare and think that the other person is doing so much better than us. Then we think it is hopeless and we give up on our passion and settle for less.


Sometimes it is a feeling of being paralyzed at not finding any passion at all. I used to wait for my calling to come knocking on the door, take me by the hand, and walk me down Easy Street to the path of happiness and success. I thought that it would be that easy. If I found “My Thing” it would all just unfold in front of me with ease.


I felt that I found my thing when I became a coach. It felt so easy, and I felt like I was aligned with a higher purpose – My Calling. But the path is hard. There are sharp twists that I didn’t see coming. There are challenges and struggles and tests. It’s a daily choice that I have to make to keep going. And I keep going not because of passion, but because of my long-term vision of what I want to create in this world. The point of my journey all along is that I am in line with my long-term vision of what I want to create for myself and others. It doesn’t really matter what vehicle I use to get there.


So how did I even find the things that I get passionate about and enjoy pursuing despite the challenges? It’s a process.

•   Notice what sparks your interest and makes you feel a little excited.

•   Pick one or two to commit to and pursue. Give yourself no less than six months to dedicate and practice.

•   Immerse yourself.

•   Get a coach or mentor to guide you along the way.

•   Tell your friends, and find a buddy to join you.

•   Keep going, no matter what.

These steps seem simple and easy. And that’s what I tried to do. I tried to keep things simple and easy to follow. It’s not always easy to stick to a path when things get hard. But that’s the point of 4 and 5- give yourself accountability to stick through the tough spots.


Passion just isn’t enough to get through the day to day slog on the way to finding success. And there is no such thing as One Perfect Calling (or Person). But we can find a thing that brings us happiness, and isn’t that the point?


When you look back at the paths you choose to pursue, and the ones you didn’t what commonalities do you see? WHY did you choose it, what were you trying to accomplish or gain? This is how I found my bigger vision. Even though the paths I choose don’t look the same on the outside, deep down I know why I am doing them. And that’s all that matters to me. I’m committed to waking people up, helping them become better versions of themselves. I know I’m walking towards that.