Talking about body image, mental energy and bus friends

I remember sitting on the school bus in elementary school next to my bus friend. (You know bus friends, right? The people you talk to because you ride the same school bus, but you’re not really friends anywhere else in life.)

I’m sitting next to my bus friend, and I look at her legs. They were so tiny and thin. I looked at mine and my thighs spread over the seat. They looked so wide, and I felt embarrassed because I don’t remember them being that wide before. I lifted them away from the seat to confirm that they aren’t really that big. That was when I started to feel shame about my big thighs, and I even practiced keeping my thighs lifted off the seats of the bus because I didn’t want them to look so wide.
Looking back, I think, “What a silly waste of time and effort on my part. When I was a kid, my thighs were never a problem.” Hindsight is 20/20, right?  

All that time you spend focusing on the way you look is time and mental energy that you aren’t spending on other things. Instead of thinking about how your thighs look, you could be

  • Planning an idea to make more money for you or your company.

  • Thinking about how to serve your clients better.

  • Thinking about how to get involved in a political problem that bothers you.

  • Writing a thank you letter to a friend or someone that impacted your life.

  • Calling your mom.

My body has changed a lot in the last few years, and I notice that I sometimes still have these consuming thoughts that something is too big, or doesn't look the way I want it to.

And the truth is that it doesn’t even really matter. What matters is what I do in the moment, right now. Being present to what is in front of me.

Letting go of the rest of the chatter is what I mean when I talk about being present in the moment.

When I am in that moment, I can access love for myself. I can notice what I am able to do right now. I can be grateful for the effort that I am making, and for the choice to show up. In the moment, I realize I didn’t show up because I want my thighs to look a certain way. I’m there because I like feeling good. I feel good when I move my body in a way that feels good (isn’t it funny how that works?). My body sometimes likes to be challenged. And what my body craves is so different from what your body craves. There isn’t a prescription, just your individual preference.

And then in the rest of my life, I can practice the same awareness. Right now, in this moment, does it matter what size my thighs are? Or is there something else tugging at my heart?

Your body isn’t the problem.

It’s your relationship and your thoughts about your body that is the problem.

And those thoughts are getting in the way of you being in the world in the way that you want to. You are missing your opportunities to share your gifts. You’re being distracted.

Come back to the present moment. What is good right now? What does this moment require of you? What is your heart whispering to you?

And that’s what it means to be present.

How much could you be doing if you weren’t thinking about what you hate about your body? Are you ready to let that go and step into something bigger for yourself?

I want to hear from you and support you on your journey to loving and accepting your body. I'm here cheering you on. 


Did you find this blog post helpful? Do you want to increase the love in your life? It all starts with yourself, which is why I created a simple self love meditation. Claim yours here and get more love immediately.