I feel like it really flew by, and I’m not ready to move into sweater weather and Pumpkin Spice Lattes just yet. I could easily spend another month at the beach!!
But it has been so helpful for my own personal growth. I was reflecting on what I’ve learned and I would like to share it with you. I hope it is useful.
As resistant as I am to journaling, it actually works.
I don’t know about you, but I get really tired of hearing from coaches that the answer to everything is journaling. After hearing it enough times, I decided to give it a try. Maybe there is something to it if it’s what I keep hearing from every mentor. So, I grabbed a journal one morning and let my thoughts and feelings out onto the page. And damn if I didn’t feel better. I don’t know why it works, but it does. Getting everything out of my head and onto a piece of paper made it feel like I was giving a voice to a part of myself that I normally stifle. And that calmed me, which was exactly what I was looking for. I’m not a perfect daily journaler, but I definitely reach for it more often as a tool to help settle myself down.
I learned how to deal with grief.
This is a little tough to admit because it’s still a bit tender. I learned that one of the ways I used to deal with grief was to give it a day or two or maybe a whole week. And then I felt like it should be mostly done and I would busy myself to move on. I find distractions and busy work to keep myself distracted and would set time limits to when I was allowed to feel and for how long. I know this sounds crazy to some of you. But I was really worried that if I felt my sadness that I would be pulled into an uncontrollable depression. And this gal ain’t got time for that. I got shit to do!
This summer I let myself really feel. Because I didn’t have a choice. Coaching doesn’t really have busy work. I have deep emotional work where I have to show up and be me. And it’s really hard to do that when you’re going through grief. So I had to let myself just feel. And I had to rest (more on that below). I learned that I had a well of grief that had been accumulating and was now ready to be fully felt. Let me tell you: you cannot run from or hide emotions. You can’t force them to be processed or be “done.” The only way is to go through them and let them have space. Learning this lesson has not been fun, but I am really glad I did.
My heart speaks to me in a unique way.
I can’t say that I now have this completely figured out because I think learning to listen to my heart is going to be a lifetime jounrey. But this summer, I learned a bit more of my heart’s really unique language and its way of communicating. I finally let it have a voice. My heart speaks through the moments when I get really excited about something and I”m learning how to listen. It also comes up with ideas and thoughts in a flash, and if I don’t write it down it’s gone. So I’m constantly jotting down notes in my phone. Now that I’m getting better at feeling my feelings and taking care of myself, it’s talking more. And I’m doing my best to keep up, listen and obey. I think I am going to be living from my heart’s directions a lot more as I move forward.
What self-care actually means.
If you’re like me, you’re kinda over the #selfcare movement. It feels like it’s everywhere, and it’s the new way to justify a fancy face cream or a massage or a night-in alone with a pizza. But what I’ve been learning is that there is no right or wrong way to do self care. There aren’t steps to follow or a formula. There are some things that work more regularly than others for me (helloooooo beach time with my journal and a book). I’m learning where my body actually seems to relax and recharge. Because that’s what self care is. It’s about finding the ways that can recharge our batteries in the most effective ways possible. Apparently, I need the ocean, sand and salty breezes in a small beach town with kind people. I also need to move my body every day.
Beware of the self-care movement. It seems to me that it is on its way to becoming the next health and wellness movement where it becomes a multi-million dollar industry. It doesn’t mean there have to be products or services you purchase, unless you really want to. Self-care is just a term, and it is asking that you look inward to find what you need most to take care of yourself. Your self care can be inspired by ideas from others, but ultimately you decide what you need the most to restore yourself. No purchase required.
If you want something you have to ask.
I’ve been working on this one for a while. I still have a little ways to go to release worrying about what other people think of me. And now is not the time to be shy or timid. Now is the time for boldness. I am challenging myself to get crystal clear about my desires. I will never get them if I continue to hold back because I’m afraid of being rejected or hated. As I continue to learn to listen to my heart and act from that place of love, I lean into my own boldness. I am taking steps forward and tapping into my own courage, even though I’m scared. There is more to come from me.
They say Fall is the new New Year. A time for intention setting and creating clarity about what you want. Time for a fresh start.
Review the summer. What lessons have you learned?
And begin to dream. What do you want to create? What are you desiring? What is really important to you?
I can't wait to hear from you.