You know the expression "rose colored glasses?" Have you ever wondered where those glasses come from? Who the hell actually has these magical glasses that let us see the world and all the people in their best light? If you know, please tell me because I'd really like a pair.
I had a moment of total insecurity and panic this past weekend. While I was hustling and working on my business, I was sucker punched by irrational jealousy.
My boyfriend was going skiing with a group of friends. And when he told me who was in the group, my stomach was instantly in knots. This made no sense, because I knew the woman I felt anxious about and I knew her boyfriend.
And yet there it was. Irrationally jealousy and tight anxiousness in my chest and stomach. My mind was racing, which is always a sign that I'm not going to be showing up as my best self. Even when I brought this up to my boyfriend on the phone, in hopes of dissipating the power of the jealousy, I still couldn't shake it. Neither one of us knew what was going on or what to do to make it better. All I could think of was that it was a carry over from being cheated on in a previous relationship.
It was clear this was not about my current relationship. This was something from my past that needed attention and healing.
Luckily, I was in a group full of life coaches, and one of them talked me through this in the car ride to dinner. She told me about the glasses that we wear as me move through our lives. These glasses are forged from our past experiences, because we embrace this idea that our past is a predictor of the future.
So in my past, I was hurt because I was cheated on and I thought I should have seen the warning signs. So now the glasses taint my experiences as it works overtime trying to find warning signs to prevent future hurt.
We have a choice in our lives. We do not have to choose to bring our past experiences into the future.
We can choose a new future.
She directed me to look at the facts of the moment. What do I know for certain right now? And what do I choose to believe in the moment?
"A belief is just a thought you keep thinking." -Abraham Hicks
I was able to release that my past wasn't going to repeat in my future. I could reassure myself of the trust I have in my relationship with my boyfriend.
If this was a Hallmark movie, that would be the end of the story. I would choose a new future and it would unfold in front of me. But I want to share all the story with you because maybe something will resonate for you.
The jealousy didn't go away completely. It came back the next day while I was standing in an airport thinking about the situation. And as I was thinking through this, the repetitive familiar announcement came over the speakers "Keep an eye on your baggage at all times. Do not leave your baggage unattended."
Hmm, I think I've left some baggage unattended.
The baggage of totally healing from the past, and letting go of this story of "the other woman." I was still feeling all kinds of pain about the other woman that was part of my past. I was still pointing my finger at her and blaming her for my bad feelings.
And I was getting reminded of her because this woman that I felt jealous of in this moment had the same exact first name.
I was taking the name of this woman in the past and associating all my pain with her and her name, and dragging it into my present moment.
I felt my mind busting open right there next to gate C12.
Our baggage can cycle back until we heal it all. We do NOT have to bring it into our future if we choose to heal it and let it go right now. Just because something bad happened in the past does not mean that it will happen again in the future. You can be free if you do the work to clean up your past messes.
Maybe that's how I can get rose-colored glasses. By cleaning up the junk so that I can look ahead of me with clear eyes and an open heart.
Your turn. I want to hear from you. What resonated for you about my story of jealousy and past baggage? And why?Comment below and tell me your story.
Did you find this blog post helpful? Do you want to increase the love in your life? It all starts with yourself, which is why I created a simple self love meditation. Claim yours here and get more love immediately.