Imposter Syndrome is real, y’all. Well, that’s a paradoxical statement because it’s not real but many of us suffer from it. And it’s time to get over it.
I ran into an acquaintance several months ago. When I told him what I was doing, he looked at me quizzically. “But you’re not married.” he said. I told him, “All the better. I know what it takes to date. I’m in the trenches. I’m having fun. My information is current, and no one is saying it better than I am.” He smiled and nodded.
I tried to save myself from imposter syndrome by telling myself “What does he know? He’s an old white man, so far from my ideal customer.” But the damage had already been done. “What the hell do you know? Who are you to be an expert on anything? Look at your life. If you knew what you were talking about, you would have everything figured out already. You should only teach once you have success in your life. Quiet down, retreat, let other people lead.”
That voice was so judgmental because I was dating but didn’t have a relationship. It was telling me I wasn’t enough because I was single and dating (never mind that I was having fun dating and exploring new relationships with people and different ways of getting to know someone new). It didn’t matter because I wasn’t valuable unless I was partnered.
Oh, that voice is so harsh. It hurts my heart writing it. But that is exactly what I was hearing. And I still hear it every once in a while. That question that really stings:
“Who the hell do you think you are to lead and teach?”
Do you have this voice? Is there some voice inside you that is way more knowledgeable and bossy telling me how you should show up in the world?
I talk to other coaches about this all the time. Those of us with good intentions, plenty of wisdom and life experiences, and clear vision are the ones that question ourselves the most. We are the ones that doubt and think that we should leave it to someone else. Because the other people are so loud, we are convinced they know what they’re doing.
Isn’t that a bit crazy? Just because someone is loud and insistent we believe we should listen? But that’s exactly what has happened.
Love him or hate him, President Trump is a perfect example of this. He had a vision of who he is and how he wants to contribute to the world and he committed to it 110%. He was loud and focused. And look what happened.
Can you imagine if those of us who have visions of a better, connected, loving world were that focused and committed? What would happen?
If you are reading this, I believe you are one of the people with a vision for a better way. Maybe you don’t know what that is yet, but you want to believe that there is a way that is more loving and filled with light. What would it take for you to be 110% committed, telling your story loud and proud, helping others to step up?
You know what? I’m in a fantastic relationship now and I don’t feel any worthier to lead. It’s because my worthiness does not come from my relationship status. It comes from inside me.
I have a lot to offer. I have a lot of life experiences, and a lot of wisdom learned through life practice and from studying.
And you know what else? I don’t have it all figured out. I never will. I’m not anyone’s guru. Like I said a few weeks ago, I will always guide you back to yourself as your own best guide. That’s what any good coach should be doing. But I will share with you what I’ve learned and what has helped me, in hopes that it helps you too. I want us all to shine. Because I have a vision of a world that is more connected, more loving, and more awakened.
Want to join me?
Your turn. What is your inner voice telling you you’re not good enough for? Do you need more schooling, more practice, more validation before you do that certain thing that your heart is yearning to do? Comment below and tell me what you want to do and what the inner voice says that is holding you back. Call yourself out and let me know.
Lots of love,