There are parts of the conversation about #metoo and consent that are making us turn against each other. We're debating who is at fault, what the definitions are, and other convoluted questions.
But someone once said "The quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions that you ask." (I'm probably paraphrasing, but you get the idea). And I think we need to ask better questions.
So right now my questions are all about how can we use #metoo to BE better?
Something is getting lost in the fast-paced and ever-changing culture that we live in. We are losing our connection with our true inner self, and we are replacing that connection with lots of things that seem to create connection.
We read books by people like Brene Brown and we think we know what it takes to be vulnerable. We do self-help books and we think we are evolving. We follow Deepak Chopra and meditate every day and think we're spiritual. We're taking the right actions but we're not connecting it to ourselves and our heart and soul.
What is becoming clear to me that was highlighted in this most recent story dealing with an anonymous woman and Aziz Ansari is that we have stopped listening to ourselves. So no wonder no one is hearing us when we think we are communicating a clear no. We're not even clear with ourself, how the hell is anyone else going to listen?
I was listening to an interview with RuPaul and Oprah yesterday, and I remembered the ending if every single episode of RuPaul's drag race: "If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love anybody else?" In the interview he stressed how important it is to KNOW yourself. I have to agree 100%. I think there is a breakdown between the self and our outward behaviors.
In this video, I share some thoughts and some ways we can start to connect our thoughts and behaviors. This is just the beginning of an ongoing and evolving conversation. Watch the video here.
This is just the beginning of the conversation.
I think the bottom line right now is that we women need to find a new strength deep inside. We need to be strong enough to prepare before entering into a sexual relationship, and we need to practice being clear with our no. We need to be stronger than the women that came before us.
I believe that strength comes from inside, developing a strong foundation of trust within ourself, and a strong connection to yourself. A connection to your complete self, which includes your good and your bad sides, and knowing yourself inside and out.
My thoughts and feelings continue to evolve on this subject and I know I'm not alone. I'm open to hearing you. What do you think the affect of #metoo is on dating right now? Hit reply or share in the comments of this post on Facebook.