Rest Is Not One Size Fits All
/Let me know if you can relate. Quite a few months back, I was so drained I set up my Sunday as a “#selfcareSunday”. I did a face mask, painted all my nails, and took a long bath with a stack of magazines. I sat in the tub until the water went cold, and I still felt raw. Like I had been checking boxes off of a to-do list titled “Self Care” but I wasn’t feeling any better. I didn’t know what to do to get myself back.
Have you ever felt so stressed that your normal stress-busting routines don’t work? Have you ever been so drained that it feels like you could sleep for a week and not even begin to get back to normal?
Given the way the world has been for the last few years, I bet understand where I’m coming from.
Self care is a practice that is much deeper than just getting a massage or taking a nice bath with candles. Somehow, something that was once a restorative practice has become an industry of people trying to sell you things to help you take care of yourself. But you really don’t have to spend any money. You need to tune into yourself, get curious about what you really need right now.
Self care is the practice of giving back to yourself to restore yourself back to a sense of balance. But because self care is all about YOU there is no one-sized-fits-all prescription for self care. But there is a general framework and suggestions that can help you know yourself better so you can take care of you.
Realize not all rest is the same. Get in touch with the kind of rest you need. What kind of stressed or tired are you? Here are some ideas of what you can do when things are really, really hard and you need to take care of yourself.
Start by taking care of your physical rest, since most people are not getting enough sleep each night and you may be in a sleep deficit. Take a nap, take a day off work and stay in bed and do nothing. Whatever you need to restore your sleep and rest. If you still feel tired down to your bones after getting some extra sleep, proceed to #2.
Adjust your diet to increase your water intake and increase your fruits, veggies and lean proteins. Increasing the nutrition you actually take into your body will nourish you physically. This is far better than dealing with stress with sweets, carbs, or alcohol. All of which may be tempting (I see you, Pinot Noir 👀…) But before you go there, I challenge you to think about nourishment first.
Turn off your phone and all screens. Give yourself a significant amount of time without screens or people demanding your time (especially people who aren’t even in your presence). A Netflix binge may seem restful, but it actually leads to feeling sluggish and still tired. Instead, read a book. Listen to music. Try some gentle movement like a walk, easy yoga, or stretching. Experiment with a hobby, like gardening.
Tune into your spiritual well-being. Spiritual does not have to mean religious. Your spirit refers to the non-physical part of you, it is your deepest, unchanging essence. It needs nourishment just like your body. Check in with yourself and try attending a church service, meditating, do something creative, journal or write yourself a gratitude note, get into nature. Sometimes, dancing can be rest if it restores your soul. Different people recharge their spirit differently, so experiment to find what is truly restorative.
All these different types of rest do something different to restore you. When I look back all those months ago, I completely neglected to do steps 2 and 3. I thought I just needed to physically rest and do the stuff people say I should do. But I had deeper deficits that needed my attention. Even though I didn’t know it then, I do know now and practice it regularly (daily if possible).
Now it’s your turn. Don’t just trust me, try me. Start with #1 and work your way through the list. Hit reply and let me know how it goes and how you feel afterwards.