It's a big question. My short answer is that I do believe in soulmates. But I have my own definition for what a soulmate is, so this is going to be longer than a simple yes or no answer.
I believe a soulmate is contract between two souls to connect while on earth to have deep and meaningful spiritual growth. A soulmate relationship helps to bring a person to another level of evolution towards being a more loving being.
Because this is how I see a soulmate relationship I believe a person will have multiple soulmates and they will not all necessarily be romantic.
When it comes to romance, I don't believe in "The One." I believe a person is The One because you declare that person to be the one you want to spend your life with, dedicate time and energy to, invest in their growth and commit to one another that you've mutually agreed upon.
A soulmate relationship is not always puppies and sunshine and rainbows, because growth is often messy. It’s not necessarily a relationship that lasts an entire lifetime either, because a soulmate’s assignment is for growth and not for a set time period. Melissa Ambrosini said it beautifully when she said, “When you meet your soulmate there is no place to hide. They are your biggest mirror, your biggest spiritual assignment.”
I've been growing a lot as a person recently, and part of that is thanks to my romantic relationship. While in relationship I am able to see a lot of my own behavior more clearly so that I can look to see if it is serving my highest good. And a lot of times my answer is "yes," and almost as often my answer is "no." When I feel out of alignment with the loving person I want to be, I get to look at my behavior, see where I am choosing something other than love and look for a new choice.
I don’t know if my current relationship is a soulmate relationship, but I do know that it is a relationship that reflects back to me all the parts of myself that need some attention and are holding me back from being the best version of myself.
It reminds me of our first date. We were sitting across a table from each other nervous as hell. For whatever reason, I decided to go full out on this date. I asked some deep, hard-hitting questions in hopes that we could get to know each other on a deeper level.
We talked about what we were looking for in a relationship, and what we saw for ourselves long term. We also talked about deal-breakers, our needs and desires in a relationship as well as our hopes and dreams for how we want to show up in the world. This conversation was some serious #adulting, because I'm not going to lie and say it was easy to always be honest with this conversation.
He shared with me later that this conversation was really scary but he was willing to play along. On that first date, he said he learned more about me and us as a couple than he would have learned in three months. It helped us feel more connected because we saw where we were on the same page, and so many of the normal assumptions and questions rolling around in one’s head we laid out on the table.
Because these questions were central to developing a partnership, I had to be really honest, too. A few times I caught myself wanting to say something to impress him or be agreeable. Or even worse, sometimes I caught myself editing what I was going to say because I was afraid of his reaction. When I leaned in and said the things I was afraid of, it let him reciprocate. It paved the way for more open and honest conversations since then. (And not all of them have been easy or happy)
Like I said, it’s a little early in my relationship to be using the word “soulmate” but I will say he pushes a lot of my buttons in a way that makes me inspired to be my best. It points out some of the things that triggers my worst self, and unfortunately he catches the brunt of that sometimes. Which just shows me where I still have healing to do.
It's a process. And the process that can happen between two people is a beautiful thing. Sometimes we learn from happy moments, but most often we learn when things are hard. Having someone by your side as you do it helps.
What I want to know now is if you believe in soulmates, and why or why not? Do you have your own working definition of a soulmate and what is it? Have you felt a soulmate connection before?
Did you find this blog post helpful? Do you want to increase the love in your life? It all starts with yourself, which is why I created a simple self love meditation. Claim yours here and get more love immediately.